Today I noticed a few brown leaves on the driveway. I’m pretty sure they died of heat exhaustion, but still, I like to think that maybe Fall is on its way. I’m trying to notice the acorns that are falling off the oaks around the yard, trying to notice how long it takes the squirrels to grab them up and hide them away. I love the change of seasons, especially this one- Summer to Fall.
These past five years have been a long season for me- one that it’s taken me awhile to figure out. September 7 marks five years since I survived that nasty car crash- since I was given the gift of survival. It’s a day I celebrate as “The Day I Didn’t Die in a Car Wreck.”
There have been days that I have wondered if I would have chosen survival if given the choice. But every day, I see new mercies from the Lord that I’m so thankful He’s given me the chance to experience. Mercies in learning thankfulness, generosity, diligence.
And really, I’ve begun to see that the true gift wasn’t my survival. The gift was the accident itself that began this season of my life.
In five years, I’ve learned about the bigness of God.
I’ve stopped praying for relief from ailments and aches, for wise doctors and good medicine, and I’ve started praying for healing. I’ve stopped praying for the right words to say to friends who need to know Jesus, and I’ve started praying for God to give them faith. I’ve stopped praying for people to come to their senses, and I’ve started praying for God to bless them where they are. I’ve stopped praying for the right people to be elected, and I’ve started praying for God’s kingdom to come.
Year 5 brought significant change.
When I got up the morning on 9-7-14, I was facing a day that was all too familiar. My days had been a steady march of just putting in time. My heart felt empty and burdened every day, my days felt meaningless. Get up- work- come home. Sit in my chair until dark. Go to bed. And do it again, every single day.
Things were different when I woke up on September 8, 2014. Already God was starting to show me that my life does have meaning because He means business with my life. My existence was not a random accident that happened when He wasn’t paying attention. He has chosen me, and being His gives my life meaning.
During this fifth year the truth of this is starting to move me to action more. It’s starting to shape my decisions, how I spend my time, who I allow to influence me, how I pray.
God didn’t merely allow me to survive- survival was not what He was about. Instead, He allowed me to go through a situation that only He could bring me through. Bumps and bruises, aches and pains, five years of alternating ice and heat, and elevating things… All the marks in my body are well worth the work that He has done in my heart.
It’s not a road I want to travel again, but I’m thankful that He chose to bring me through to the place I am now.