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This morning, Fiona Fred had a little potty accident. Now, look at that word, “little.” That is a relative word. It is used when comparing things. This morning’s “little” potty accident is little in relation to, say a buffalo coming into the house and having a potty accident.

There is really no good time to have to clean up a cat-poop-astrope. Ever. But this morning…

Let me back up for a minute. I was really tired last night. Yesterday had been a long day. I had gotten in bed later than usual. And despite the fact that I had gotten a great night’s sleep, I was pretty tired when I got up. Still, I followed my new routine of fixing a good breakfast first thing in the morning. At some point while I was cooking my egg, the accident occurred. And when I walked back into my apartment from the Big House, still not really awake, it hit me.

Fiona, it appears, has some issues with fear. He often gets a little jittery in the litter box, and sometimes he forgets to finish his business before he bolts out as if a big potty monster is chasing him from the darkness of his covered litter box. This morning he not only didn’t finish his business in the litter box; evidently, he bolted out mid-poo. Maybe even pre-poo. It was awful!

When I saw the mess, I looked at him. He looked at me. He didn’t look apologetic at all.

I said, “I guess you’re going to make me clean this up?”

After several rolls of Bounty (The Cat-poop-astrophe Picker-Upper), more hand-washes (with bleach) than I can even fathom, and multiple prayers for Jesus to take me home, I finally got the mess cleaned up. But like any good crime scene, I just know there are remnants lurking, waiting for me to find them. Trust me, I will not be walking bare-foot in my apartment until I can thoroughly clean my floors one more time. Or perhaps even replace the flooring altogether.

I may have a minor case of PTSD from this one.

When I told my friends at work this afternoon about the incident, and that the first step of my recovery would be for me to blog about it, my friend Marcus said, “But Chrissie always finds a silver lining….”

Not today, my friend. Not today.